Well it took me a while to get my head together. But as promised here is another tale in the never ending Journey of the man, the myth, Cole Wynter, and his quest to thoroughly infuriate the women in his life.

For this one however, you'll need some back story. See I know this chick in LA that went to my colleges so called rival school in the District of Columbia. Maybe you have heard of it. Rumor has it DatFuule has some associates that are in their employ. I'll let you do the research. But, anyway, I met this chick because she has the exact same name as a chick I dated briefly in college. I found her back when hotmail was all the rage. I did a member search, found her, and sent her a note explaining I was looking for my friend. This girl responded and we have been in touch ever since. For about the better part of a decade. Which means over 5 years but less than 10.

The crazy part about that is how unusual her name is. Far be it for me to put her and myself on blast like that but let's go with a pseudonym for the sake of argument. Let's say the girl I dated in college was named something a little unusual like "Ayame Sivarsky." Let's go with A.S. for short. What are the odds of there being another one anywhere on the planet? Let alone another woman of color, around my age, that attended an HBCU around the time when me and the original A.S. attended school as well. Go figure.

(bear with here a minute I'm still in the setup phase of this one, need to establish a pattern of behavior here)

So, the long and the short of it we talked through e-mails for a while. Then I moved to LA from NoCal and we started chatting on IM and then in '03 we went out on a date. Great time. Dinner movie and lots of quality talk. Until the end. Because apparently by the end of the date I had deeply offended her. Completely by accident. See we were talking and she asked me about my preferences in women. Keep that word PREFERENCES in mind. That's a quote. As a preference I prefer the more petite athletic chicks. Tamia & Jada come to mind. That's a preference not an exclusive thing by any stretch. I might prefer steak and lobster from McCormick & Schmick's (I'll let you do the research) doesn't mean I won't eat McDonald's. And I made that clear as I have dated all sizes of women. And yes I told her this. Though apparently she had stopped listening after "petite & athletic" because I had all kinds of nerve to have such a preference being that I'm a big guy myself. Not super big. But not small. Thing Paul Wall but taller or better yet Ice Cube in Friday. I have since learned that my response should have been my preference is her. Or at least something to that effect. To the guys that maybe reading this let that be a lesson to you if ever you get caught in a similar situation.

Keep in mind dear reader I knew nothing of this until weeks later. As she expressed this to me in an IM after a few attempts were made to go out with her again. All of course were to no avail. So one day she flipped on me about it. Because, of course, I had a lot of nevre to be discriminating. If she had felt that way we might not have even gone out at all. Right. So, naturally, I had to remind her of the other parts of the conversation. Specifically that I have dated women of all shapes and sizes. And that a preference is just that. Something you would prefer given a choice and that doesn't exclude the 2nd, 3rd or 4th choices and so on... So after she thought about it she realized she was not particularly accurate in her assessment and we got passed it. Eventually. It took her a minute. Though admittedly I kept my distance after that. I was not prepared for the strength of her reality distortion field.

(a moment of clarification here, see she is a very attractive woman but not one I would call athletic, though that is how she refers to herself, she teaches aerobics or something and takes decent care of herself, but she is by no means petite no matter how good her self-esteem might be, at the moment someone of comparable size escapes me, she certainly isn't Mo'nique or anything but ain't none of the chick on Girlfriends either)

EXHIBIT C... (for real this time)

So flash forward to the summer of '06. That's right. Just about 3 years since the last time me and A.S. part 2 had our date and misunderstanding. I am back from my trek across the country. And, as I am known to do, I was lamenting the death of Bath & Body Works Seaspray. Best scent ever. Women loved it on me. But since it is gone I was contemplating something new. Found some stuff in some magazines and had a couple I was interested in. While chatting with A.S.2 about this she expressed and interest in helping me find my new scent. Read that as she invited herself shopping with me to do so. Ok, fine. Meet me at this mall, on this day, at this time and its on. Agreed.

Never are such things so simple. Even though the scheduled meeting was over a week away and she was sure she could come the plans changed at minute the last. She called me early in the day (before my wake up time) and asked me to call as she was up late and would be taking a nap. So I wake up, call her back and she still wants to go but under the condition I come get her. *sigh* Ok, fine. Imagine for a minute, all my ATLiens (or atleast those of you familiar with Atlanta), you lived in Buckhead and you were supposed to hang out with someone in Union City. You were going to meet in Midtown. Only now you have to pick them up. It's kinda like that. Particularly, since we had to pick a new place to go to. Basically, I said fuck it and picked her up and we went to some other trendy place in LA, spending most of the afternoon discovering my new cologne. Which is really good by the way. Made by a designer originally from Detroit of all places. I'll let you do the research. And no I didn't know this before hand. So everything appears to be going well.

Of course you know nothing is ever easy with me. So once that was done she wanted to pick up a few things for herself. Cool. Once she is done getting her knickknacks I ask her what she wants to do. Dat, stop me if you've heard this one... So, she in turn asked me what I want to do. It went something like this:

"So what do you want to do know?"

"What do you want to do?"

"I don't know. You Hungry?"

"Are you hungry?"

"Not really, I can take it or leave it. You?"

"I can take it or leave it too."

"You aren't hungry?"


"Are you sure? I don't want to leave you out here starving to death."




Fine. Done deal. We walk around the shopping center some more. Strolled through the food court area. Made our way back around, with one stop for her to use the rest room and we were back in the car on my way to drop her off. Did so with no problems. Walked her back to the door. Got a hug. We bothed expressed that it shouldn't be another 3 years before we see each other again and I was off. Cool.

Yeah... right...

So, I get home and after a little while I get on the computer. Naturally, she is on IM and we start to chat. Good to see you again, blah, blah, blah... I ask her what she was doing now and she makes it a point to tell me how she was putting away stuff after she was forced make her own damn eats when she got home. "Ha ha, very funny, if I didn't know better I would think you were serious and had an attitude." Yeah. You see were this is going... Cause she WAS serious. And she DID have an attitude. At this point she gives me the 3rd degree about why we didn't go to dinner. And how it would have been nice and because she was doing me a favor and the day would have lasted longer, yadda, yadda, yadda... Completely forgotting (and rather conviently, I might add) that she told me she wasn't hungry. No less than 3 times. At the time I literally recounted the conversation to her verbatim. And what does she tell me? That's not how she remembered it. Keep in mind folks that the convo above is very close to being actually quoted. I recounted this not only to her but several other people. I even saved my convo with DatFuule about it to be used as a reference (I was so disgusted I neglected to save the actually convo I had with A.S.2). But I digress... when I called her on how she did remember it she couldn't come up with any real specific details other than it was decided we wouldn't get dinner. Even after I went over the conversation several times with her, she was unable to fill in any details of it with "how she remembered it." So eventually she concided that it was a missunderstanding and that she was cool. Because, ultimately, after she had gotten home she wasn't sure why we hadn't gotten dinner. She just needed some clarity as it didn't make sense to her. Ever have one of those moments when you are convinced you slipped into the Twilight Zone? Yeah...

Needless to say we haven't gone out again. We talked about it for a minute after all this cause, let her tell it, she did enjoy seeing me again. And she does actually like me. But, for one, we have different schedules. And, for two, I left the ball in her court. Cool, you wanna hang out again, just let me know when you are free on a Sunday or Monday (my off days). We can go to lunch, dinner or hang out, just let me know. As of this blogging I am still waiting...

I told a female friend about this incident to get another perspective. She basically told me it was stupid because if she had been hungry she would have told me and then we could have ate. This chick is 24 lives in NoCal is considerably cooler/hotter and apparently still has the good sense God gave us all. I didn't tell her this but when she told me that I wished she was the one living in LA. Seriously, I'm getting too old for this shit... Seriously.